


Sehnsucht

by Antarktica



Series: Inevitable [1]
Category: K (Anime)
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Angst, Drabbles, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, One Shot Collection, Unresolved Tension, free form, i love them, i'll probably keep writing them forever, platonic, romantic platonic whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:43:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarktica/pseuds/Antarktica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>drabbles/prompts or just the things i write for izuseri / kusanagi/awashima</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. vorfreude

**Author's Note:**

> **This part will most likely contain drabbles for this two and other parts are most likely mini stories**  
>  The big stories will be posted separately and not in this whole stuff though.  
> AAA-- I believe when I was writing this I am on the fluff and angst zone so feel free to expect that it is a mix of them -- resulting into chaos.
> 
> Disclaimer : I do not own K Project  
> ( Which is such a pity )

_We are not partners, nor colleagues, nor comrades._

_Nor close enough to be called friends,_  
Nor anything like lovers,  
We’re simply in the same position in different organizations.  
Nevertheless, whenever something occurs,  
We would call each other like this.

_This relationship,  
How should I describe it?_

* * *

She starts the day with a few cups of water and a good long bath. It sure is nice to use different bath salts on this time of the year; it sways the stress away, sometimes even better when she try to rant everything to him. Sighing, she opened the window that revealed Domyouji and Hidaka joking around with each other while Goto is just standing there quietly watching the both of them. She greets the three of them a 'Good Morning' and so they returned it back while looking a bit stiffly.

  
She wonder if she had done something wrong? She didn't think of it at all – all she did was greet them right? And now, she's on a very good mood unlike the usual. She wouldn't let anything else bother her for the day, as it's her day-off. Finally a day-off. Slightly hoping that she wouldn't be called out of the blue for the day, she steps in front of a mirror to check if she's all set.   
  
Something fascinating now crossed her mind, what if she tries dropping by her Captain's office before she get out of the dorms? Maybe she should give that a try, to check if he was also eating his food or had left it untouched on the left side of his work desk while solving the enormous puzzle he's absorbed with.   
  
As soon as she had thought of that idea, she found herself standing outside the Captain's dorm room, in her sleeping wear. Pajamas, though, she does mind the looks she's getting from the others as she ran to where she is now.  
  
_Knock. Knock. Knock._

She waited for a few moments but never got any ushers from the inside, could it be that the Captain is asleep right now? She tried and knocked again, this time she heard Fushimi's voice from inside. Did they stay up late and did not plan to sleep again?   
  
Awashima reached for the door knob, revealing a somewhat sleeping Fushimi Saruhiko on the tatami mats beside Captain who had a cup on his hand. She could swear that Captain's room smell like liquor, could it be that they both drink until they pass out last night?   
  
She let out an aggravated sigh and went to the both of them to fix their positions. It's not like she did not feel angry with Fushimi nor Captain for doing such thing, it's just that she knows their reasons too well and could tolerate it. They were still and (hopefully not) forever mourning to the death of Suoh Mikoto. She guesses for Fushimi-kun, he couldn't just really stand the look painted all over Yata Misaki's face whenever they come across each other on field missions.   
  
She takes a final look at the them before leaving the premises for some sort of appointment with a certain bartender.

* * *

Sunny. Why did it have to be sunny, she thought, apparently hiding herself from the sun by staying on a shed. This place was supposed to be their meeting area, though, she cannot even find a glimpse of his hair nor clothes in the crowd. 

How dare that man make her wait like this? It's burning like hell outside. Maybe she should've brought an umbrella or had wait 'til the sun turn.   
  
She took a glance at her watch, it's 2 o'clock for goodness sake! 10 long minutes had passed and he had not set his foot on this place, where in the world is he? She opens her bag and was about to call him though someone had greeted her from behind.  
  
“Hey there, Lieutenant of SCEPTER4~” came a familiar voice. She turned around to earn a hurried expression on his face as he pants for air. It seems that he ran all his way here when he caught a sight of her figure.   
  
“You do not 'hey there' me. Where in the world were you?!”   
  
“You see.. I got caught in the ocean of women earlier, I ran here immediately to make them go away and now they really are!”   
  
“I hope you didn't give them a really weird idea.” She takes a look at his ruined shirt, she thought that she would fix it for him—no, no, there's no way she'll do something like that! He returns a confused look as he turned his attention to his shirt, he immediately fixed it with a flushed face, slightly bowing at her in thanks for noticing it.   
  
“Ah.. Actually..”  
  
“What did you say?”  
  
“I said.. I'll be going on a date with you..” He put his hands in front of him. “Now please don't kill me!” He closed his eyes in fear, no one knows what this woman could do. But honestly speaking, he should've not said that.   
  
Normally, young ladies will be embarrassed by now and reply something really in denial or probably smash this man's head in bits (which she's most likely had done if she had not know him too well). Yes, they are going on a date now. No, it's not to be taken in a romantic manner, unless you include the personality of the one she's with. Or was it supposed to be one? She shakes her head on such thoughts, she has no time for thinking of nonsense now! She lets out an audible sigh, lightly patting him on the shoulder.   
  
“Well, aren't we going on that so called date?”   
  
Wow. You got to be surprised by her blunt personality. This woman was perfect on most aspects, there's still her love of red bean that no one would be able to stomach in but excluding that one fact, she's perfect.   
  
“Y-Yes you are right...Seri-chan, aren't you quite blunt today? Did I do something wrong..?” He said, slightly blushing at her response while rubbing the back of his head, not knowing what kind of sin did he just commit earlier.   
  
She stares at him in silence. “Nothing, except for being 10 minutes late that is.”  
  
“Now, don't be so cold to me today ~ I'm actually surprised that you did agree with it!”  
  
“Oh~ Perhaps are you finally noticing my very being, mademoiselle?” He prattled as they walk their way to the coffee shop. They both just came here for company so why not? And he wanted to not miss a day seeing her, as always.   
  
“It's not that. In my defense, last year you had asked me on it but I wasn't able to go right? I'm just returning the favor.”   
  
“Hmm, is that so? Then, I'm fine with that~ As long as I'm with you for the day~”  
  
“Maybe you could stop with that lovestruck words of yours before I get annoyed...” She muttered, as he pulls out a chair for her to sit at. She takes the seat opposite to him, blankly staring at him with her hands cupping her cheeks almost as if she was irritated with his whole existence.  
  
“I asked you out here for a good cause, Seri-chan. Since there are nosy, eavesdropping brats at the bar when it's supposed to be my alone time and that time means I get to talk to you on the phone.” He grumpily rests his face on the table. “Such inconsiderate brats.”   
  
She chuckled lightly at his side-comment, matching it with a glare that you normally does not see on his face. “Oh, you're not wearing your signature glasses today, aren't you?”  
  
“It is to reveal my graceful face to you.” He gave a smile to her that he usually uses to charm ladies. Of course, she, Awashima Seri wouldn't be charmed by one of it. After all, she wasn't one of those ladies we're pertaining too.   
  
She doesn't have much on her mind today. And the town has been peaceful, she wanted to ask what happened to HOMRA but she thinks that she should just leave the matter for awhile. No work-related things for the day, she thought. Fiddling with the drink sitting in front of her, she could swear that the man accompanying her for the day was staring at her so lovingly and intently. She completely brushes the thought off and looks at him to the eye, startling him.   
  
“Hm?” His eyes apparently widened, probably in surprise that such gorgeous woman is staring at him intently to the eye or by the fact that she looks irked with how she looked right now.   
  
“I-Is there anything wrong with my face, Seri-chan?”  
  
“N-No. Never mind that.”   
  
Now the conversation is really sinking, maybe he should think of some sort of topics that would entertain her or surprise her that she'll decides to ride with it. Work-related things is absolutely a no-no, both of them has agreed to not talk anything about work for the day to relieve their stress.   
  
He coughed for a couple of times and says, “S-Seri-chan, this may get under your skin but..  _do you have someone you like?”_  He closes his eyes and swallows in anticipation. Just what in the world did he just blurt out just now?!   
  
She stopped picking on her drink and looked at him in the eye again. Surprised by his question, her eyes shown suspicion on them as he denies anything she has on her mind. Sighing, she takes a small bite of the shortcake that was served to her just now.   
  
“For goodness sake, I do not know what had gotten to your mind for the past few minutes, though, I'll answer your question.” She pauses before taking a deep breath. “Yes I do have someone I like right now.”  
  
His eyes sparkled in thrill, just who could this lucky man be? He would love it if she says that it was him though, he couldn't let his hope that high because such thing wouldn't happen. He laughs mentally; maybe he's getting too much paranoid about it. “In what kind of terms is that, Seri-chan? And may I know who is he?”   
  
“He's a man of respect. Always has his head held high and gives his duty more attention. I think I like him in the terms of... Outstanding respect and loyalty.”   
  
There's no way he isn't going to figure out who she was talking about. It was obvious as hell with her eyes shining in delight and her tone somehow getting confident. So, she was talking about her king. The Blue King, Munakata Reisi. Oh, how that vile man irritate his very being! As much as he knows he could get along with him well with his personality, he just can't stop himself strangling that man in his mind! Especially when he keeps insulting his king, Suoh Mikoto. And if it wasn't to be taken into positions, that man asked her what does he think of his second-in-command which is her, the woman he's with right now.   
  
At first, he didn't know what to answer to his question but as time went by, she started visiting his bar, sometimes she would only go there for errands or sometimes if she really wanted to talk to someone out of her work or someone who isn't his co-workers though someone who knows the feeling and shares it. True, if he was such man that only thinks of the ladies as tools, she wouldn't dare to waste her time. But the truth is, he wasn't, and this is what had become of it.   
  
“I should've expected that... Aha..” He murmured under his breath, laughing apathetically at her response while brushing the back of his head sheepishly.   
  
“What I mean is.. You know, in some sort of romantic manner? Or should I rephrase my question to, do you have someone you feel interested with that you want to be with them for the rest of your life?”   
  
“Unfortunately, I do not have time for frivolous things such as that. And, I think you know it... better than anyone else. Am I wrong, Kusanagi?” She asked him in a curtly manner.   
  
How could this woman go back and forth between being professional and the opposite of it? Though, she has a good point about the matter. It's true that he knows it more than anyone else; after all, he was the only one who had spoke about taking an interest on her despite on being members of rival clans.  _What a love struck man he is._ He genuinely hoped that she would answer his question but then back-off with the thought, feeling as if it's still not time. Maybe he was really rushing things, just like what she said the last time he asked her about it. Maybe he needs to be considerate about others feelings too, not just his own.   
  
“I presume you're still grieving for your frie- or to be exact, brother, Tatara Totsuka..”   
  
The moment she had mentioned the cheerful, witty, and one of the core of HOMRA, his expression had gotten worse. She bit her lips in disappointment. She was expecting an “Oh c'mon Seri-chan~ He wouldn't be happy if I was still depressed with that matter.”, even a short nod would be okay and then after wards he would return to his usual demeanor. But now, it didn't happen.   
  
Sighing exasperatedly, “Well... maybe I should've not pressed on the matter. I apologize for doing so...”   
  
Expecting nothing from him, what happened now would be an addition to her shocks. He took a hold of her free hand.   
  
“It's not a problem anymore, Seri-chan.. I just started being like this when I realized life is too short. Way too short. Even though you have superhuman powers, death is the always dead end for you. I don't think it's also possible for the urban legend “Silver King” to be immortal too. Realizing that, I thought, now who will I lose? Mikoto? Anna? Or would it be you next?”   
  
“I don't know what will happen anymore...  _Seri.._.” He whispered almost faintly, voice cracking in depression; it was as if he hadn't taken any liquid for the past days. No, he wasn't crying. It was impossible to cry as it feels like he was dying inside with the sudden realization. He never wanted to face the truth, but now that he was forced to do so, he had no choice.   
  
The question is now is whether he would face it or run away from it just like back then until it haunted his dreams? He clasped his free hand to hers as if he was clinging to her.

She sat there in shock with his words. Had she ever expected those to come out of him, she would never react like that. As any human would do, she willingly pulled him to a hug in an attempt to comfort him. Yes, comfort him, not torrent him or something even worse than that.   
  
“Silly, if something ever happened to me you’ll know a better solution than drowning yourself in the ocean of depression.”   
  
“And if it was vice versa, I don’t know for now how I would feel but I’ll most likely get sad, because  _no one could ever make a meaner martini than you do.”_  She adds, pulling away from the hug.   
  
They were fortunate for the day that they weren’t catching anyone’s attention, thanks to Izumo for choosing the best seat in the universe.   
  
 “Are you sure no one could ever make a meaner martini than I do?”  
  
“Yes, I am very sure of that.”  
  
“Nah, Seri-chan, you actually don’t go to any other bar except for my place right?”  
  
“Exactly. Because I’ll never go to anyone else’s bar.”   
  
Still, no one plans to let go of each other’s hand. Maybe this time, just this time, she could let herself break free from her thoughts and spend a quiet afternoon with him. Just this day to forget about ranks, positions or any other work-related things—Right now, they’re a man and a woman, spending their time together.


	2. To pave your stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Awashima visits the infamous bar of HOMRA and spots a bubbly Kusanagi, caressing his bar and almost gapped in shock when he heard the chimes ring. Kusanagi wasn’t really expecting her appearance today but gladly makes her favorite martini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, if you believe that you had seen this somewhere you got it right, it is the same person, Shiro Mirch from fanfiction.net. I.. feel too lazy for my own good to even change my name there to Shiroi No Eiyu . I just thought I would inform . 
> 
> Disclaimer : I do not own K Project

* * *

It was already 11:45 PM when she arrived at her destination—the bar of a certain Kusanagi Izumo. She thought that she was probably late until she reached to the doorknob, _He’s still up.._ , she thought. 

She gladly entered the bar and was greeted by the infamous bar master sitting at the couch and not standing at the counter as usual. He had this sheepish grin when he felt the chimes ring but it slowly changed into a lovely smile that only she could see.   
  
“The usual?” He says, standing up and walking over to the counter to make her a drink. She sits at the couch for a change. She nods at him and places her belongings at the empty space beside her.   
  
“You certainly look exhausted today, mademoiselle.”  
  
“You better take note of that...” Awashima says, sighing. Today’s workload was really tiring her and her subordinates. And to her surprise, she asked her Captain why they weren’t any HOMRA-related on the papers he flat-out said to her that they weren’t related to any of those cases and added that it’s just the increase hostility of the strains in the city.   
  
He puts down the drink on the table and sits beside her. If her bag wasn’t even separating the both of them, their closeness would be more questionable. To her defense, she doesn’t really mind and she was really exhausted. And, besides, if Kusanagi ever tried to pull out a move then she knows what to do when that happens, but she thinks too that he wouldn’t do something like that because she trusts him.   
  
After muttering a small ‘thank you’, she takes up the drink.   
  
“I don’t really know why I never go to any other bars and the fact that I really like the way you make such mean martini.” She says, slamming the cocktail into the table, luckily it didn’t break. Yes, she just needed to tell him this to let out a bit of stress. She unknowingly rests her head onto his shoulders.   
  
“S-Seri-chan?”   
  
“I don’t mind, you’ve been holding yourself back and I know it.”   
  
He plasters a sweet smile that means that it was her win this time. He removes her bag gently and placed it at the end of the couch. He wraps his arms around her and snuggles even closer.   
  
“You snuggle a lot, Izumo.” She says but rests her body onto his.   
  
“All I can do to pave away your stress, my queen.”   
  
“You’ve been watching a lot of medieval stuffs, stop that.”   
  
“You’re saying that although you really like being called that way.” He teases her, poking her cheeks as she gives him a glare that later turns into a smile.  
  
“Well, you’re right about that.” She gives out a light laugh, not minding their distance.   
  
“What is your role again?” She says.  
  
“It depends on you mademoiselle, but I would prefer to be your knight in shining armor when you were still a princess.”   
  
“Oh shut up will you, I just asked what role.”  
  
He lets out a laugh at her response. It just translates to, “Stop saying embarrassing things.” Though, the shut up part was the truth.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it ! I swear even after the infinite times I had read this chapter, I still grin like a fool. I'll try working out with the subtle yet incredibility of their affection though, both as persons and people in the same position. 
> 
> I do admit that I suck at titles though. Aha!


	3. a possibility they never considered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rain and casual going out don’t usually blend well, just like them at first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dumps another drabble here

“Hmmm..”   
  
They stood underneath a shed, protecting them from the unexpected turn of events, or rather, weather.The other’s hazel eyes closely examining his reflection on the poodle. Stranded, the rain was still in a bad state to even try and fight . Water is wet, and so are they.   
  
“Tell me the odds of this happening, really.” said Awashima, sarcastically, a frown developing on her features. Blonde curls dampened when the rain had caught them off guard, then opting to go to a preferable place.   
  
“The odds is that it’s happening right now, Seri-chan.” said Kusanagi, almost playfully and in appreciation of the little bit of humor he picked up from the tone of her voice.   
  
“Besides, I’d rather mention on how every single of our meeting ends up with us, drenched and – _wet_.” A little bit of unintended innuendo on his part though he was only stating the obvious.   
  
“I’d rather you don’t.” Proceeding to ignore the very notion and the reaction it got out of her. Almost like a flinch. She was hanging around his company too much.   
  
Though it cannot be helped, mainly with them having to work together even after the said crash and disappearance of the Slates.   
  
Nevertheless, not explaining the chances they would be drenched by a sudden rain, with the morning starting as a sunny one.   
  
“C'mon, it’s not that bad to be stuck with me, right?” He let humor crept in his voice . Yet the underlying tone being a single pinch of hope, the other at least finds him great to be of company. It wasn’t about justifying himself, but _something_ that occurred to him , for the few days he worked closely , and by closely , personally with the other.   
  
Looking down to her expectantly, not realizing the other was returning the gesture.“You’re right, it’s not.” Awashima settles for a small smile before adjusting her scarf ( it being the only one around the both of them ) then proceeding to wrap it around the both of them.   
  
Only to stop halfway in realization although continuing the action, ‘‘Don’t want any of us catching a cold.’’ she stammered for words. Going through an epiphany towards her actions and everything else.   
  
Kusanagi himself was taken aback by the gesture. There was an underlying temptation and voice telling him to push further but he won’t. He doesn’t want to, not to the only Awashima Seri he knew. If there was any person who would know well of her boundaries, it would be him. And so he smiles in content and reaches for her hand to squeeze it. The leather of the gloves being the only material keeping them from direct contact.   
  
_“Mm. Thank you, Seri-chan.”_  
  
 _“Thank you too.”_ And she doesn’t let go.


	4. the dainty treats of banters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a vignette; pre-rok; that one time they exchanged calls regularly for information and for the sake of each other's sanity ;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tis i the potato queen, i mean, hi just have one of these stuffs from my livejournal !
> 
> its also shiroieiyu for stalking purposes ! jk have fun reading this one-- its pretty short--lived. hahaha 
> 
> a/n: lacks background and a little bit of an x files influence ( imagine a crossover )

"I sent you the files you need for those jargons, perfectly wrapped up, you only have to endure reading 10-sodding pages of them, though."

"I would never let your hardwork go to waste, Seri-chan."  
  
It was one of their regular calling to each other, or as Kusanagi would like to put ' love calls '.  
  
He was a lonely man in this country that  was yet foreign to him. Putting it to such marks that Awashima was the only one keeping him on track and his impromptu quest plastering him like a super glue to the ground.

"Mmm. What does number 24 say in summary though?"  
  
He skims through the pages through his newly bought and apparently provided by Awashima herself, laptop.

"It talks about the boundaries of the kings, but how it could also promote peace and happiness on their boundaries and not end up clashing heads."  
  
She sighs on the other end of the line. "Though, that's not exactly how it happened."

"And.. supernatural beings..?"

"That one, then is just a guess on what could be those other rats that weren't completely exposed to the Slates' power and been made a clansmen but eventually gained an identical power,"

She takes a moment to sip on her coffee,clearly she doesn't have any plans on resting as there were too many jargons left still she has yet to tell him about.

"On whether could they actually be under possession or control of some sort of witch or an astral being."

"They believed on those still around that age?"

"Well, the project alone is unbelievable and moreover the existence of the Slates isn't to be ignored."

"Aha...sorry about that, and cults?"

These jargons were getting a little bit ridiculous but apparently so, it would make sense as a scientist cannot just ignore the many possibilities. As much as how unethical the presumption was, on the contrary, the experiment they were conducting was as ridiculous as the guesses.

"The Slates wasn't found by digging in the middle of the city but rather it originally came from an indigenous tribe from Dresden which then were also believed to have had those superhuman abilities, casting spells of some sorts and everything related to it."

A long pause. He had gotten too immersed in her narrative; taken by the breath of the precise research she had done and that he couldn't possibly repay her efforts alone.

"Marry me."

Or that his influence over her was too much. That thought alone apparently setting his heart on a rhythmic haywire, eventually leading to saying those words.

"...I'm pretty sure there wasn't a jargon in there like that but I'm willing to state so..?"

Awashima raised her brows still, flabbergasted at the thought of it being an off record remark.

"No, off the record, Seri-chan. Marry me, when everything is all fine."

Ah, he did said what he had just said. Either the lack of sleep led her to believe it or give him the benefit of doubt, neither was of help.

"I wish you would be a little bit more cooperative," Coldly brushing it off. It wasn't that simple of an rejection; it was more of a fact she'd rather face later than now. " I'm missing on my sleep for this so do make an effort to make sense."

Ahah, as expected, he thought. He simply jested to himself, always, it would be rejection. Mainly why he referred to her as Tundra Woman ( although, he has thought about it a while that it was more of Tsundra Woman; a slip up but a right one as she can be quite in denial as a highschool girl sometimes. )

"..right. Well I don't want you missing your sleep and I have to cook for myself lest I'll starve to death."

First they thread on this thin ice and a line between being enemies and something close to friends.

Just like that. Perhaps sooner or later the foundation will give up , and to hell with it whether they'll swim or sink with the truth that's constantly throwing jabs at them in the wrong time at the right place.

"Mmm. Work on that."

"Can't thank you any more than less, Seri-chan."

"Stop your blarney for the nth time. Go eat.  I have a few reports to do."

"Good night, darling."

Another long pause. There wasn't a time she wasn't caught off guard by him; not like she would admit to it though.

"..Good..night."


	5. heart in..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post s2; wherein awashima dealt with the surprise birthday party from her colleagues and yet there was another one at the bar she frequents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when will people post their izuseri b-day thingy or just something in general for awashima -laughs- jk this was kinda rushed but i had the idea long ago and I just didn’t have the inspiration and pressure to do it. so let it be said i was motivated under pressure cause yknow one just has to make something for their favorite character-- this is just casual married couple things dont worry--

“Happy Birthday!” He had decided to pop up from behind, startling the composed atmosphere the visitor held.

Awashima was surprised when he wasn’t by the counter where she usually finds him.

**_Usually._ **

 Instead, he came from around the back, a cake in hand, lit candles on top of it. And he slightly closed the distance between them, beaming at her.

“…Thank you…you didn’t have to though.” She was unable to comprehend what was clearly happening. And so she stood with a lowered presence, feeling awful at the thought Kusanagi had to be compelled to do this.

Kusanagi peered at her droopy expression, “Hey, cheer up?” He beckoned for her to sit and toast the only two drinks on the mini table in front of the couch.

“…I just feel a little surprised...” Melancholic, in fact, she wouldn’t say.

“In what way is that, Seri-chan?”

“I wasn’t expecting another surprise for the day.”

He stifles a giggle. “You should have. Come, sit with me.” And she did.

 _Surely, he had also done this to some of his patrons_ , she thought to herself as she takes a sit beside him. Her hands finding themselves clasped together, fidgeting.

“—you’re one of the only people who deserve this treatment, Seri-chan, don’t let that bother you.”

Was he reading her mind or was that just a simple of a guess? Why must she flinch at that statement of his? Perhaps it was the reflex, or that she didn’t assume he would entirely have guessed what she was thinking of.

What she was insecure of.

He sets the plate down and raised his glass for a toast. Reluctantly, she raised hers and their glasses clinked.

“Blow your candles.”

That got her on the track of their usual banter.

“I’m not a child, Kusanagi...” It was hardly a fight she was bringing up.

“Humor me,” He pleaded. A look she particularly didn’t like as it furthered her from saying the words ‘No’, as per the usual. “— pretty please?”

“I can’t believe I’m actually being persuaded into this…” It was more to herself than to Kusanagi. If there was one weakness of Awashima, outside of work, was that she could hardly bring herself to say no to someone once they gained over her trust. It clouds her rational thinking and instead plays along. As said, with a pint of hesitance, she did blow the candles off the cake.

Or if it was even a cake at all, for most of the thought. That was the notion, until it was topped with anko yet topped with another anko and the list goes on.

“You don’t seem too happy.” His voice seemed of worry, she couldn’t blame him for that. Had he went overboard or was this not to her liking? It rarely mattered as Awashima never complained but it was her special day and he didn’t want to ruin it.

(He has yet to give her the gift he bought for her)

“Overwhelmed... that’s all.” The words _I know you wanted to ask_ had been left on the atmosphere, _unsaid_ but nevertheless _understood_.

“Hey, everything’s going to return to its peaceful state, Seri-chan.” And she lets his assertive hand rest on her shoulder. The temptation to pull her to himself was there but he knew of her space and he respects it that much he’d probably confess it till the day he dies or some other thing happen to the both of them. The latter was unlikely, the former wasn’t.

( _Exactly_ , she thought. And she feared peace. Peace was a never-ending period of formulating what ifs and it’s an excruciating time of not actually knowing when danger would come. Awashima was fond of fights, as much as she wouldn’t bring herself to admit it, whether it was mentally or physically. Peace never sat right with her. She never got along with it perfectly. )

“You used ‘Hey’ twice now,” An attempt to drift away the talk, away from what she didn’t want to face but was hit with the realization. In her special day at the very least. She already emptied her drink along with the anko residue it came with. She didn’t notice. “You’re not so okay yourself too.”

Kusanagi would play along. Another chuckle rose from his lips.

“Mmm, but that bit comes from whether you’ll like my gift.”

That got her attention. The slightest intonation of the word gift perked her cerulean blue eyes up.

“But to not ruin the element of surprise, will you close your eyes, mademoiselle?”

The curiosity that nipped on her pride won over her. Slowly, he lifted his arms up as he hurls the enormous gift from the back of the couch. It wasn’t wrapped but it was kept clean.

And then that’s when she realized she was in contact with something similar to a fur.

“You can open it now, Seri-chan.”

When she did, teddy bears in semblance of one certain bartender, a highly-ranked officer in disguise as he is actually a king, and her, sat in her lap, almost as if they were looking at her in awe as she does to them. Perhaps it was a childish action she should’ve neglected to do but she has her arms wrapped around them in split seconds, as if she was a little girl and had gotten a gift she wanted ever since.

“Y-you shouldn’t have…” Stuffed bears or any stuffed toys at all, would immediately send her mood to the highest degree it could ever achieve. And to top that, these ones were personalized and something she was actually planning to have, at least sooner or later. Her voice shook. She was too overwhelmed to even utter a rational thought.

 “I actually wanted to ask before if you wanted to complete your set,” He chuckles yet another time.”Aren’t you even the least bit curious to how I knew, at least this time of the year, Seri-chan?”

“I have my suspicions,” She _hmped_ at his statement, the tsundora (tundra) she was as what mostly Kusanagi liked twisting into. But as her eyes fluttered open again, it shone with joy and that was all Kusanagi wanted to see. “— but I wouldn’t even want to indulge them.”

“So? How was it?”

“Do you even need me to say so?”

“A man gets curious, Seri-chan.”

“That now I would purposely decline.”

Kusanagi felt amusement at her response. It was the usual snarky remark but it had a joking tone to it that he didn’t feel was amiss to the rocky conversation they were having.

“I also had another surprise but it’ll make it seem so overboard.”

“Now a woman gets curious. What is it?”

Kusanagi was a little bit reluctant to let her hear what the next thing he was going to do. It was ridiculous but it’s his last resort to cheer her up; he had acted on an instinctive notion that she was feeling a bit desolated from reality and how time had passed by.

With a bit of hesitance, he trails, “I decided I would impersonate Munakata-han with these glasses on.”

Before she even had the time to comprehend what exactly he was about to do, he already wore the nose glasses and spoke in a low, monotone voice in a horrible attempt to impersonate her king. No it wasn’t taking out the honor she held for her king but rather if she and Fushimi weren’t just too embarrassed to see him speak in the nose glasses from back then, this would’ve happened.

And she finds lightness within it and laughter rose from her chest.

“You’re being utterly ridiculous right now, Kusanagi.”

“But you like it.” It was the truth.

“Indeed,” Awashima paused; taking off the nose glasses he had humored her in for a good 5 minutes before he too had succumbed to laughter. After wiping the tears that found their way to the side of her right eye, more or less from the endless giggles she had let loose, she spoke only two words of gratitude, “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it; feedbacks are forever and always appreciated !


	6. cold & nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was never the best of friends with nightmares in the first place.

Kusanagi ought to ignore it at first; the almost impossible shifting of the sheets and the constant rustling noises from his room. Apparently so, the horrible, if not, winter provided both good and bad situations. Good is, well away from the sweltering heat of summer but bad since it was never not cold and also meant the gift of five-meters high pile of  cold, white shimmering snow.

This apparently doesn’t explain the situation why there was another soul in his apartment as it was totally far from the usual conquest, as to what Awashima used to say. Then again, he is a gentleman and treated the soul who is nonetheless—Awashima Seri, herself—as a dear friend _( ? )_ and both a patron of his bar, so he could not simply allow her to walk, _in heels_ , through the pile of snows that almost got them stuck on the road to his apartment. Much to her negligence of her own health and another incident from the past where they happened to cross paths giving him enough _leverage_ to coax her to staying with him and calling work off tomorrow.

(“Oh, _hell_.” He heard her curse under her breath; a rare one to hear, especially coming from the cold and composed lieutenant. Apparently, the news had just said that it is not advised to go out around 7 pm sharp and that is quite lacking in the time of her travel to the headquarters and dorm.

“You can stay at my apartment for a while perhaps, until tomorrow morning? Call works off, not like you actually have that much to do now that everything is…cleaned up or something.” A string of words blurting out of his mouth involuntarily. It was his initial thoughts but probably should’ve been said with better wording. _Too straightforward for him._

She didn’t ( _couldn’t_ ) utter a word after that, much to her chagrin, she didn’t have much ammo to fire it back and eventually escape her way out of his concern. _Then again it was also her way of complying with what he said earlier. )_

_Another shift._

He pulled himself out of the sheets that provided him _warmth_ , if one would exclude the usual body temperature of a Red Clansman. The couch was comfortable, utterly comfortable for it could function as a bed; perhaps it was too wide to be called a couch, really.

“Seri-chan?” He called out, taking light footsteps to his way on his bedroom where the other slept. Could she possibly not sleep? The closer he got to his designated location and up until the door which was slightly opened; it became more evident that the latter was not the case.

Awashima Seri was experiencing a seemingly frightful nightmare. Traces sweat beads streaked her forehead and the side of her face, the low murmurs that’s escaping her lips. He was only peeking through the slit until he slowly let himself in that it occurred the room was _excessively cold_. Even with the warmth his aura provided.

He had encountered cases like this, mainly with himself and Anna, to think that even the impregnable pillar that stood beside Munakata Reisi highly had...nightmares. Well it was another thing, they’re all human, yet still, what could she possibly be having unfortunate, fabricated dreams of?  The temperature seemed to have dropped to the _Absolute Zero_. He was used to Anna’s case, as much as it would be extremely warm, it did not bother him yet this—this _cold_ , it appalled him to the point that he needed to exert a little bit of an effort to be warm.

Well, it certainly wouldn’t do a thing to watch the other suffer into a nightmare and, perhaps it was just the sentiment of the night that got her into the deep slumber.

“..Seri-chan…wake up,” He shook her with every gentleness he got yet of course, the first times does not actually work so he tries a bit further.

 _“..The—Captain—“–_ she murmured in a slurred manner, apparently still locked down in the false structure of ‘reality’.

“Seri-chan—listen to me, you need to wake up, it’s just a _horrible_ dream—“ He repeatedly said, articulating it carefully as speaking fast to a slight hypnosis-induced person would make it come off as slurred and almost _unintelligibly gibberish_.

As far as his reiteration took him to **\--** as much as he does not trust what he was seeing **\--** evident ** _tears_** falling off the other’s cheek and to the hand that slowly traced there in an attempt to retract her back to reality, by the bedside, crouched and almost leaning figure of his. Kusanagi’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of it, was he not that much of an expert or rather experienced in dealing with a person who is having nightmares to an extent of what he declared himself to be?

“ _..K-Kusanagi…?_ ”

_Well, perhaps he still is._

Awashima muttered, appearing to be stuck in the said altered fabrication of reality but as soon as he had seen a glimpse of the blue orbs she possessed, a surge of relief immediately overcame his worry; both to his pride and also to more personal and sentimental side of things.

“..Awake and okay yet, Seri-chan?” Another tear falling off from her cheeks, she hasn’t realized it yet—sooner she will but he would attempt to brush it off as if it was not there from the start.

She adjusts herself into a sitting position on the bed almost in synchronization to Kusanagi’s retracting hand and opted to sit by her side still and patiently.

“Awake... _yes_. Okay…I hardly think so.” He couldn’t decide whether it was just one of her usual snarks but her endeavor to brush away the tears with her hands all but revealed to him that it was not a façade. Her body quivered, just slightly, yet still unable to assess its current situation.

“...Want to talk about it? It’s also fine if you don’t want to...since it seemed really terrifying to even want to recall...” _And that thank goodness the room dropped to its usual temperature..._ , he thought. If that were not the case perhaps he would be frozen in no time.

Awashima took a deep breath, an abhorrent act to prevent her voice from trembling, “...I wouldn’t mind...but perhaps you have an inkling about what could it be…” Her delicate hands tracing to her shoulders, the cold sending shivers down her spine even if she was too used to it.

“—Indeed...you were muttering Munakata-han’s title. Don’t worry, it didn’t happen you know,” Kusanagi assured her, putting one hand on hers and placing it on his lap, squeezing it mildly. It was too much of an intimate act, considering where they both stood from each other.

 (Not **_close_** enough to be called close friends, yet not also **that** _estranged_ to be called acquaintances.)

“—and it will never happen, in the first place.” It was almost tempting to place a kiss on her palm but Awashima in every aspect, would not take pleasure from that and it only would irritate her; it was all based in experience too.

“Didn’t I tell you that if you need my help you can always tell me so?” He added, looking at her with the same patience and kindness as he said so before.

“..I remember...” Her voice quivered, the nightmare still haunting her from the back of her mind. Soon the wetness of her eyes was noticed and she deliberately tries wiping it off, procuring more tears. Even the thought of it happening gave her the chills, what of if it were to become reality? Now that was a thought notch lower than the rest she had. 

“..Sorry...about _this_...It’s incredibly pathetic.” Truly pathetic, she thought. Why could these liquids not wait until she was alone? To this day she still had nightmares of that particular day where she almost thought she would’ve had to do that—no choices given, just the brevity of what could only last. She averted her gaze from him, going as far as to not facing his direction and turning her head away as she wipes the ( _hopefully_ ) last drop of fear she repressed since that day.

She wouldn’t also try to hide that she felt feeble, almost impaired to move her limbs to walk away and give herself some space, no—she just sat there pitifully, biting back her tears.

Kusanagi, of course, could not bear such sight, and as cliché what he was about to do, he did not mind. He doesn’t like seeing her cry. In fact, his stomach churned only at the sound of her sobbing, what of seeing it—no he would not simply allow that. Perhaps she also has been repressing it for so long—that the pressure eventually found a crack and forcefully broke down the wall. Eventually letting his hands trace on hers, stopping them halfway as he pulls her into a warm embrace.

“It’s not…even if it was, crying is never considered a display of weakness, Seri-chan.” There was still a contrast with height, even when they were in a sitting position, with him slightly elevated. The act was almost done deliberately as he plants a soft chaste on her hair. An odd deed for the both of them, they were very far from being lovers yet such actions seem to be declared in the general public reserved only for those who are.

"Though, I doubt the person I am looking at is a pathetic woman.” Kusanagi lets himself linger on the contact and twirls her blonde locks in his fingertips almost playfully. “—Stop thinking too much for a moment, Seri-chan. You can never be pathetic or weak, to me. You will always be the esteemed Awashima Seri, might I add the **_Tundra Woman_**.”

She lets her hands linger and slowly wrapped on the other’s neck loosely, whilst she buried her face on the small of his shoulders and neck, fitting exactly as if it was a spot meant for her.

 _“I hate you...”_ She murmured. 3 words she felt the need to say and it was incredibly childish. She does not know whether those words were directed to her or to him. Perhaps more to herself, for showing a weakness, averse to what she led herself be ruled her whole life, or for needing console and physical contact. Yet—she could not also lie that this happening felt very befitting.

“Well, certainly I can do better than this; maybe you’ll despise me the next time.” He jokingly muttered, nuzzling the other’s hair.

“ _Shut up…_ ” In which she smacks a fist lightly to his chest, feeling a bit more leaning towards a lighter mood. It's safe. She feels safer with her enclosed in his embrace, despite the complete disregard of personal space. For a moment, it felt fine to succumb to her emotions--because this man wouldn't judge her for a bit of it and she trusts him so. And that's enough. For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii there ; I come back for a bit -- well cause it hit me that I haven't put this here ; this is from a tumblr ask prompt from weakeninghope ( tyvm !! ) many moons ago. Updates for DEIG coming.. soon. Hopeful I'll finish it this year. Just before K: SEVEN STORIES come out one by one.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it and is willing to leave kudos or response on my take for this two !


End file.
